It really depends on the child. But in our house we say it all day long: practice makes progress, not perfection.

You can’t set goals until you know where your child is right now, today, and you can’t make someone else’s benchmark your goal. Track where they are, whether that’s a reading level, a behavior, or how often they need to be redirected.

For example, if your child needs about 50 redirections in a 30-minute math lesson, write it down. Put some tools in place, and halfway through the year you may see 35. That still feels like a lot, but because you know where you started, you can see the progress, and that’s so encouraging.

I set monthly goals for all my kids. For my kids with significant special needs, I often just write down where they started and where they ended the month, then ask: can we do that again, or beat it a little? Micro goals instead of macro goals.

Don’t get so focused on reaching grade level that you hurt your child in the process. If a child is behind because a school failed them, or because of a season where you weren’t as diligent, it may be appropriate to double up lessons; a lot can be learned quickly with maturity and buy-in. But understanding the material is the real goal.

It will take the time it takes, and that’s okay. You can extend school, do school over the summer, or graduate a little later. Keep your main goal, educating your child well, ahead of made-up benchmarks.

We’re honestly still learning this. So far, my other kids with special needs are on track for a traditional diploma, with adaptations we’re figuring out along the way, and I share those as we learn them.

But one of our kids will never get a traditional diploma. They’re in the borderline intellectual disability range and won’t complete anywhere near the grade-level work a diploma requires, so they’ll receive a certificate of completion instead.

That doesn’t make it any less of an accomplishment, or mean we care less about their schooling. We focus much more on life skills. And we’ll mark that milestone when they’re ready: not at 18, and not when a list of grades is done. I’ll share more as we go.

If you’re putting together a transcript for a child with special needs, HSLDA has a helpful guide: tips for completing a special needs transcript (with samples).

With a lot of grace and a lot of creativity.

• Lean on audio and video resources when sitting at the table isn’t possible.
• Keep lessons short and consistent. Even 5 to 10 minutes before you walk out the door for an appointment is good.

When a body is in a flare-up, it’s harder to absorb information. If that’s your normal, you’ll have to work through it to some extent, and it will look different for every child.